Week 1

Sacks in the City scored 173.52 on Sunday. That is the 16th-best week of John's 260 in this league, better than anything he managed in all of 2025, and good for a 7-2 all-play record against the field. He lost. Here is why that matters: coming into the week, John was 63-7 all-time when scoring 150 or more. Seven losses in 70 games. He has now taken his eighth, and it took the second-best week of Tony's career to do it. Big saltena's 188.46 sits behind only the 189.10 Tony put up in Week 10 last year, and it came with Josh Allen (39.66), Kenneth Walker (32.60), and Jahmyr Gibbs (31.10) doing the heavy lifting while Colston Loveland contributed a round 0.00 from the starting lineup. Tony is 29-7 when he scores 150-plus, has never won a title in 12 seasons, and finished second last year from the #3 seed. A 188 in Week 1 is how a team announces it is done being the bridesmaid. As for John, Trevor Lawrence scored 34.10 on his bench. Sacks in the City is 0-1 with the third-best score in the league, and if the past is any guide, John's 13-game win streak, the longest any manager in this brief has ever put together, says the correction is coming.

Straight Receptions Homie's top three starters were Derrick Henry (34.80), Ashton Jeanty (29.70), and Jonathan Taylor (23.60). Three running backs, 88.10 points, and a 59.92-point win over Bismellah Cookin Lamb, the biggest blowout of the week and the 111th-largest in league history. Thinh's 173.96 is the 14th-best week of his 258 here, and his record when scoring 150 or more is now 54-5-1. He is also one of only two managers here, with Patrick, who has never finished last, and 16 seasons of that gets you a 125-104 career mark and two titles. Daniel's side of it is harder reading. Bismellah Cookin Lamb finished last in 2025 at 5-10 and opened 2026 with 114.04, a 1-8 all-play week, and Kenny Gainwell's 2.30 in the lineup. Daniel is 0-12 in his career when scoring under 100, so 114.04 at least keeps him out of that bracket. Barely.

Vacation in The Hampton beat XXXDaDa 144.22 to 90.96, and the story is on both sides of the hyphen. Andrew's 144.22 came from balance: Jalen Hurts 30.72, Jalen Coker 29.80, Christian Watson 29.70. It ranks 56th of his 260 weeks, solidly good, and Jaxson Dart's 32.60 on the bench says the ceiling is higher. Remember that Andrew went 12-3 as the #1 seed last year and finished fourth; the question for Vacation in The Hampton was never the regular season. Dashon's 90.96 is the part people will talk about. It is the 239th-best of XXXDaDa's 256 weeks, the last time he scored lower was 89.86 in Week 9 of 2025, and the all-play was 0-9, meaning every other roster in the league beat that total. Only two XXXDaDa starters reached double digits: Justin Herbert and Evan McPherson. Did the kicker outscore the quarterback? 19.00 to 15.26. Yikes. Kyle Pitts added 0.00, Dashon is 4-35 in his career when scoring under 100, and the four wins were not built like this.

Patrick's Concepcion w/ My McBride is the defending champion, having gone from the #4 seed to the title last year, and Week 1 looked like a team that knows it: Bijan Robinson 27.30, Chris Olave 23.20, Trey McBride 20.00, and a 141.14 that beat Bishop sycamore by 26.68. It also included the Houston Texans defense at negative one point, which is a number a starting lineup is not supposed to contain. Dallas Goedert scored 21.70 on Patrick's bench. Nate's Bishop sycamore got 26.96 from Lamar Jackson and very little else, with Cam Little (12.00) as the third-best starter and the Philadelphia Eagles defense at 4.00. Bishop sycamore's 114.46 is a middling 114th of 186 weeks for Nate, whose career sits at 71-102 with no titles and three last-place finishes. His Week 1 record is now 5-8, the worst opening-week mark of anyone in the league.

El Primo beat Escuela de Snyder 120.36 to 115.16, the closest game of the week at 5.20 and the 153rd-closest in league history. Caleb Williams scored 41.26 for Kevin, the biggest number on any starter line in the league this week, and the rest of El Primo was quiet: DJ Moore 18.50, Jake Ferguson 1.60, and a bench total of 18.20. Kevin's 120.36 ranks 144th of his 250 weeks, which is to say it was an ordinary El Primo week that happened to land on the right side. His Week 1 record is 7-10 and his career is 103-126 with four last-place finishes, so any Week 1 win is a small event. Jonathan's Escuela de Snyder had the better roster and the worse decision. Jaxon Smith-Njigba (22.20), Jayden Daniels (21.66), and Bucky Irving (16.80) started; Patrick Mahomes scored 25.66 on the bench, part of 62.56 unused points. Swapping Mahomes for Daniels is worth 4.00, and the margin was 5.20, so the lineup was not the whole story, but it was most of it. Jonathan is 114-115 for his career after this one, a single game under .500, coming off a 5-10 season.